p/s: Perhaps Proton should come out like this design. Even the outlook also stunning.
Original Source
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Jan 19, 2013
How to avoid parking fees
By Nash
Posted at 4:43 PM
video
No comments
This is smart way how to avoid parking fees. You should try it. Haha
p/s: Perhaps Proton should come out like this design. Even the outlook also stunning.
Original Source
p/s: Perhaps Proton should come out like this design. Even the outlook also stunning.
Original Source
Jan 14, 2013
Oct 23, 2011
Oct 14, 2011
Aug 4, 2011
Jun 19, 2011
Jun 11, 2011
May 4, 2011
Pengantin yang Sempoi!!!
By Nash
Posted at 7:51 PM
Jokes
No comments
Memang "stylo" la pengantin nih, tapi aku tak tau la source nih betul ke tak. Anyway, mungkin boleh dijadikan inspirasi kepada bakal² pengantin kalau dah tak tahu apa pakai masa bersanding, asyik kasut kasual hitam je kan. Tukarlah citarasa lain pula kan. Hahaha...
Jun 28, 2010
Team strategy revealed...
By Nash
Posted at 11:20 AM
world cup 2010
1 comment
Team strategy for top list country for world cup 2010, even though some of the team like Italy and French packed their things already and fly back to their country. To join them last night is England.
Jun 23, 2010
Terima lah cerpeng pilihang minggu ini!
By Nash
Posted at 9:48 PM
Jokes
No comments
Walaupun aku dok la hebak sangak kecek ganu, tapi aku 'pahang' gok la bace cerpeng nih..haha
Mamat rase malassang nök bangung tiddo. Nye gulling-gulling atah katil. Pusing kiri, pusing kanang. Serba dök kene dia berase. Mök Lijöh blèbèr hanyaar kot luör pitu, “Mat! Matahari nök tinggi galöh döh nim, ka’ak rezeki kalu bangung lèwat-lèwat. Mung tak dök kheje ke ari nim?”
Dök tahang kene blèbèr Mamat Ppayang pong bikah bangung ceggat dari katil. Baru dia teringat pukol 11 ada kene wat kheje sikit hök Böh dia suroh kemarèng. Mamat pong jungaa tangang dia ambèk tuala. Pèsèngang mandi P. Ramlee pulök pagi nim, al maklunglah pukol 10.30 döh. Dari Manir nök jembe ke Jalang Batah Baru tu jauh jugök. Pah tu nök kena bereti stèsèng minyok Petronah pulök dekat sipang trapik lait Pulau Musang. Döp ingat starang nok tamböh minyök kemarèng. Dök dang 10 minit Mamat siap belake döh. Minung air kopi-ö setegök dua lepah tu pakaa kasut kulit atah tangge kak lambo. Baru beli minggu lepah tu kasut tu. Bekilat ssiö! Lepah tu Mamat pong stak möto vroooooong hale ke bandö. Mötosika sèkèng hèng jer, tapi boleh tahang lah.
Jalang Batah Baru ader banyök bangunang jabbat dengang kedaa. Kalu hale ke depang sikit ada kedaa Astro, hök tv kene bayö bulang-bulang tu. Kalu tebèng dök bayö jer kena pötöng hanyaar. Lepah pada suraa Flat Batah Baru tu ada lèrèk kedaa èkong. Kedaa makang pong ada gök. Kalu jallang sikit lagi sebelum kedaa Astro tu, ada kawasang lapang tepat juaa khète baru cap Hyundaa dengang Kia.
Di antara kedaa èkong dengang kedaa Astro tu ada celöh-celöh tu jabbat löyar baru buka. Pèsèngang baru pah jadi löyar tu Mamat mari mmkir sörrang. Slo-slo Mamat naèk tikat dua. Napök gaye ader dua örang jer kherani. Llaki sörang, ppuang sörang. Boleh tahang hök ppuang tu. Tapi pakaa cicing molèk ngak kat jari manih tu. Ttunang döh pèsèngang tu.. Dök napök gambö starang. Berat nnanang. Mamat kabö ke kherani ppuang tu dia nök jjuper Tuang Löyar. Hayat hidup Mamat dök rajing jjuper löyar skali habuk. Cakkak dengang löyar jauh skali.. Nye mari debö wèh.
Mamat pong ketok pitu masok. Löyar tu tengöh pegang gagang talipung cap Panasonic kat telinga dia. Wayar talipung tu tengöh beseranggöh lagi. “I dah uruskan fixed deposit you sebanyak RM10 juta tu. Lagi satu, minggu depan ni, I nak you ikut I ke Singapore. HSBC Singapore dah buat arrangement untuk finance syarikat klien I, tak banyak, dalam 20 juta Sing dollar. Firm I jadi lawyer jugak tu. I turun KL minggu ni, kita dinner kat Shook di Starhill ok?”
Mamat bukang pandaa sangat cakak orang putih. Tapi bila dengö haa pitih die pahang. Mainang apa juta-juta nim? Mamat mari mmikir.
Löyar muder tu pong letök gagang talipung sambil-sambil kheling ujung mata tengök ke Mamat. “Yer, nök mender? Saya sibuk sangat ni, dök tengök ker?” löyar tu tanye Mamat.
Mamat pucat kesi. Dök tahu nök kata mende. Nök jawak salöh. Tak mboh jawak salöh. Macang mase nök bangung tiddo sakning. Serbe dök kene. Sudöhhang Mamat tebèng jugök jawak.
“Sebenörnyer tuang, sayer nim kheje dengang sarikat Teleköng. Saya mari nok sambung wayar talipung hök tuang wak lölök cakkak sakning. Dök sambung lagi wayar tu, guaner lah tuang boleh cakkak döh!”
Döh nök wat guana starang! Nök èksèng dök betepat! Ada jugök löyar kècèk sorang dèh! Pecöh bo! Orang jamang lenim kata “kantoi”!
Muka tuang löyar tu jadi biru hèrang!
Regards
Pokmud
Jun 4, 2010
Bye bye mak.............(suatu cerita yang menyayat hati)
SEDIH..... SEDIH..... 'SSGGGTTT...' AMBIL IKTIBAR
(sumber dari emel yang di 'forward' kan kepada aku...)
Suatu petang di sebuah 'supermarket'.... Seorang lelaki muda tengah berjalan di bahagian barang-barang dapur apabila dia terperasan seorang perempuan tua yang tengah memandangnya dengan mata yang tak berkelip-kelip. Lelaki muda itu pun terasa pelik..dia terus berjalan ke bahagian buah-buahan tapi dari ekor matanya dia perasan lagi yang perempuan tua tu masih juga memandang dan mengekorinya. Last-last lelaki tu pun buat dek jer, sebab dia ingat dia yang perasan.
Lepas mengambil dua tin sardin dan lima biji epal, lelaki muda tu pun berjalan menuju ke kaunter untuk membayar barang-barangnya tetapi di pertengahan jalan perempuan tua tadi tuh cepat-cepat memintas dan berdiri di depannya. "maafkan makcik
nak!!" kata perempuan itu. "Makcik minta maaf bebanyak kiranya anak tak selesa dengan pandangan makcik tadi. Makcik bukannya apa,cuma wajah anak ni serupa macam arwah anak makcik yang meninggal bulan lepas" Mendengarkan kata-kata perempuan tua itu barulah dia faham kenapa perempuan itu asyik aje memandangnya.
Timbul rasa kesian di hati lelaki itu.
"Oh, begitu ke ceritanya makcik? maaflah saya tak tahu. Ada apa-apa yang boleh saya bantu?" tanya lelaki muda itu. "Aaaa....mak cik ada satu permintaan kecil kalau anak tak keberatan" kata perempuan itu. "... bila makcik dah nak jalan keluar boleh tak anak lambai dan cakap 'babai... mak!!'? Terubat betul rindu makcik jika anak dapat tolong sebab arwah anak makcik selalu buat macam tuh pada makcik".
"Oh boleh... takde masalah" kata lelaki muda tu. Setelah cashier memasukkkan semua barang-barangnya ke dalam plastik, perempuan tua itu pun berjalan keluar dan melambai tangannya ke arahlelaki muda itu. Lelaki muda itu pun melambaikan tangannya kembali dan melaung
"Babai,mak!!!!". Setelah memerhatikan perempuan tua itu hilang dari pandangan dengan hati yang kesian, lelaki itu pun bergerak ke cashier untuk membayar barang-barangnya. "Jumlah semuanya RM130.70 ye encik," kata cashier supermarket tuh. Terkejut lelaki tu mendengar kata-kata cashier tuh."Eh, kenapa mahal sangat ni cik, saya beli barang sikit jer macamana pulak sampai seratus lebih ni?" tanya lelaki itu. "Habis tuh mak awak kata awak nak bayarkan untuk dia sekali!" kata cashier tuh.
"Haah???????!!!!"....
p/s : Aku pun terkena gak...huhu
Suatu petang di sebuah 'supermarket'.... Seorang lelaki muda tengah berjalan di bahagian barang-barang dapur apabila dia terperasan seorang perempuan tua yang tengah memandangnya dengan mata yang tak berkelip-kelip. Lelaki muda itu pun terasa pelik..dia terus berjalan ke bahagian buah-buahan tapi dari ekor matanya dia perasan lagi yang perempuan tua tu masih juga memandang dan mengekorinya. Last-last lelaki tu pun buat dek jer, sebab dia ingat dia yang perasan.
Lepas mengambil dua tin sardin dan lima biji epal, lelaki muda tu pun berjalan menuju ke kaunter untuk membayar barang-barangnya tetapi di pertengahan jalan perempuan tua tadi tuh cepat-cepat memintas dan berdiri di depannya. "maafkan makcik
nak!!" kata perempuan itu. "Makcik minta maaf bebanyak kiranya anak tak selesa dengan pandangan makcik tadi. Makcik bukannya apa,cuma wajah anak ni serupa macam arwah anak makcik yang meninggal bulan lepas" Mendengarkan kata-kata perempuan tua itu barulah dia faham kenapa perempuan itu asyik aje memandangnya.
Timbul rasa kesian di hati lelaki itu.
"Oh, begitu ke ceritanya makcik? maaflah saya tak tahu. Ada apa-apa yang boleh saya bantu?" tanya lelaki muda itu. "Aaaa....mak cik ada satu permintaan kecil kalau anak tak keberatan" kata perempuan itu. "... bila makcik dah nak jalan keluar boleh tak anak lambai dan cakap 'babai... mak!!'? Terubat betul rindu makcik jika anak dapat tolong sebab arwah anak makcik selalu buat macam tuh pada makcik".
"Oh boleh... takde masalah" kata lelaki muda tu. Setelah cashier memasukkkan semua barang-barangnya ke dalam plastik, perempuan tua itu pun berjalan keluar dan melambai tangannya ke arahlelaki muda itu. Lelaki muda itu pun melambaikan tangannya kembali dan melaung
"Babai,mak!!!!". Setelah memerhatikan perempuan tua itu hilang dari pandangan dengan hati yang kesian, lelaki itu pun bergerak ke cashier untuk membayar barang-barangnya. "Jumlah semuanya RM130.70 ye encik," kata cashier supermarket tuh. Terkejut lelaki tu mendengar kata-kata cashier tuh."Eh, kenapa mahal sangat ni cik, saya beli barang sikit jer macamana pulak sampai seratus lebih ni?" tanya lelaki itu. "Habis tuh mak awak kata awak nak bayarkan untuk dia sekali!" kata cashier tuh.
"Haah???????!!!!"....
p/s : Aku pun terkena gak...huhu
May 31, 2010
JIKA WANITA UMPAMA IKAN....
By Nash
Posted at 8:44 PM
Wanita Umpama Ikan
4 comments
Topik yang amat menarik untuk dikongsi, sumber dari emel yang di'forward'kan kepada aku hari ini
Jika Wanita diumpamakan Ikan, kategori ikan apakah yang jadi favorite anda?
IKAN SALMON
Bentuknya OK, indah, dagingnya pink muda dan enak dimakan.
Tapi sayangnya mahal, soalnya masih boleh diimport. Sesuai… ada nilai, ada kualiti….
INI WANITA BERKERJAYA.....
IKAN AROWANA
Kalau yang ini kalau di aquarium memperlihatkan kesombongan dan keangkuhan kerana tahu tubuhnya indah, langkahnya lemah gemalai dan memancing mata.. nakal melihatnya di mana pun dia bergaya.....Jadi pasti harganya mahal kalau ingin memilikinya....
INI PERAGAWATI , CELEBRITY atau ke atas........
IKAN MAS KOKI
ini jenis ikan lumayan mahal, indah bentuknya, warnanya, dan lenggang-lenggoknya.
Sayangnya hanya boleh dilihat, dikagumi, tak boleh dimakan, kerana termasuk kategori ikan hiasan.....
INI BINI ORANG.......
IKAN BANDARAYA
Jenis ini murah dan selalu menempel di kaca aquarium.
Kalo sudah menempel, susah sgt nk lepaskannya.... mcm gam...
INI AWEK ALIM, ANAK USTAZ nii.......
IKAN KELI
Kalo yang ini harganya murah, bisa dimakan dimana saja.
Banyak dijual di tepi jalan, harus hati-hati
INI AWEK TEPI JALAN........
IKAN BILIS
Bentuk dan rasanya gitu-gituuu saja. Selalu sedap dimakan kala u tidak ada sayur atau tidak ada lauk yang lain....
INI BINI SENDIRI....
p/s: Jangan marah eh wanita² di luar sana, hanya sekadar hiburan semata², hehe
Jika Wanita diumpamakan Ikan, kategori ikan apakah yang jadi favorite anda?
IKAN SALMON
Bentuknya OK, indah, dagingnya pink muda dan enak dimakan.
Tapi sayangnya mahal, soalnya masih boleh diimport. Sesuai… ada nilai, ada kualiti….
INI WANITA BERKERJAYA.....
IKAN AROWANA
Kalau yang ini kalau di aquarium memperlihatkan kesombongan dan keangkuhan kerana tahu tubuhnya indah, langkahnya lemah gemalai dan memancing mata.. nakal melihatnya di mana pun dia bergaya.....Jadi pasti harganya mahal kalau ingin memilikinya....
INI PERAGAWATI , CELEBRITY atau ke atas........
IKAN MAS KOKI
ini jenis ikan lumayan mahal, indah bentuknya, warnanya, dan lenggang-lenggoknya.
Sayangnya hanya boleh dilihat, dikagumi, tak boleh dimakan, kerana termasuk kategori ikan hiasan.....
INI BINI ORANG.......
IKAN BANDARAYA
Jenis ini murah dan selalu menempel di kaca aquarium.
Kalo sudah menempel, susah sgt nk lepaskannya.... mcm gam...
INI AWEK ALIM, ANAK USTAZ nii.......
IKAN KELI
Kalo yang ini harganya murah, bisa dimakan dimana saja.
Banyak dijual di tepi jalan, harus hati-hati
INI AWEK TEPI JALAN........
IKAN BILIS
Bentuk dan rasanya gitu-gituuu saja. Selalu sedap dimakan kala u tidak ada sayur atau tidak ada lauk yang lain....
INI BINI SENDIRI....
p/s: Jangan marah eh wanita² di luar sana, hanya sekadar hiburan semata², hehe
May 23, 2010
May 21, 2010
May 18, 2010
Jokes of the day!!!
By Nash
Posted at 8:55 PM
Jokes
No comments
Just to share some humor...got it for my e-mail today, make me smile a little after one day tired with job in plant....
Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,
'My Mobile No. has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610'
============ ========= ========= ======
Ah Beng : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College .
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are studying him.
============ ========= ========= ========= ===
Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.
============ ========= ========= ========= ====
Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I'll also stay with your sister.
==== ============ ========= ========= =======
Ah Beng : People consider me as a 'GOD'
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,
Oh GOD! U have come again.
============ ========= ========= ========= ====
Ah Beng complained to the police: 'Sir, all items are missing,
except the TV in my house.'
Police: 'How the thief did not take TV?'
Ah Beng : 'I was watching TV news...'
============ ========= ========= ========= ==
Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying 'Parking Fine'
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for complement.'
============ ========= ========= ========= ======
How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.
============ ========= ========= ========= ========
Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked h im why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ==
Ah Beng in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and
Says 'Hello, how did you know I was here?'
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===
Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Ah Beng - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===
Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is 'u will go to jail'
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =====
Ah Beng told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!'
Servant: 'It's already raining.'
Ah Beng : 'So what? Take an umbrella and go.'
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =====
A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the Evening and not in the morning
Ah Beng replied Ahmad Badawi is (ex)PM not AM.. lolz
Cheers!!!(^__^)
Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,
'My Mobile No. has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610'
============ ========= ========= ======
Ah Beng : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College .
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are studying him.
============ ========= ========= ========= ===
Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.
============ ========= ========= ========= ====
Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I'll also stay with your sister.
==== ============ ========= ========= =======
Ah Beng : People consider me as a 'GOD'
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,
Oh GOD! U have come again.
============ ========= ========= ========= ====
Ah Beng complained to the police: 'Sir, all items are missing,
except the TV in my house.'
Police: 'How the thief did not take TV?'
Ah Beng : 'I was watching TV news...'
============ ========= ========= ========= ==
Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying 'Parking Fine'
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for complement.'
============ ========= ========= ========= ======
How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.
============ ========= ========= ========= ========
Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked h im why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ==
Ah Beng in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and
Says 'Hello, how did you know I was here?'
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===
Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Ah Beng - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===
Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is 'u will go to jail'
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =====
Ah Beng told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!'
Servant: 'It's already raining.'
Ah Beng : 'So what? Take an umbrella and go.'
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =====
A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the Evening and not in the morning
Ah Beng replied Ahmad Badawi is (ex)PM not AM.. lolz
Cheers!!!(^__^)
Apr 26, 2010
Bahasa Jiwa Bangsa!!
Aku just nak kongsi gambar² di bawah, enjoy!!...(^__^)
Bagus betul orang yang jaga tempat ni, mesti kuat iman dan alim...
Tak kuat isap????
Mesti hebat buat terengkas nih....
Ini sah² orang terengganu, haha (jgn marah org ganu kite)
Yang ni mesti bangla...
Bagus betul orang yang jaga tempat ni, mesti kuat iman dan alim...
Tak kuat isap????
Mesti hebat buat terengkas nih....
Ini sah² orang terengganu, haha (jgn marah org ganu kite)
Yang ni mesti bangla...
p/s : Gambar di atas sekadar renungan dan hiburan semata²
Apr 1, 2010
BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER !
By Nash
Posted at 10:02 PM
Jokes
No comments
This is so funny......read both letters....
Dear Wife,
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.
I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home & you didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore
a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.
You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Ex-Husband,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
I did notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!'
Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.
When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7
years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them & I
prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed> $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you and
felt we could work it out.
So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica , but when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you
wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
Your Ex-Wife, Rich as Hell & Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem :-)
Dear Wife,
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.
I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home & you didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore
a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.
You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Ex-Husband,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
I did notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!'
Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.
When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7
years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them & I
prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed> $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you and
felt we could work it out.
So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica , but when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you
wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
Your Ex-Wife, Rich as Hell & Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem :-)
Mar 22, 2010
Kena Pukul Kerana Tudung!!!!
By Nash
Posted at 2:26 PM
Jokes
No comments
3-4 hari ni aku takde kat umah. Pergi berjalan ke Penang. So takde masa nak update blog aku. Hari ni aku nak kongsi cerita tentang tudung yang aku dapat dari e-mail, harap semua dapat ambil iktibar la dari kejadian di bawah...bawa²lah bertaubat selagi pintu taubat masih terbuka.....
Aku mengeliat sepuas puasnya. Nasib baik takder siapa nampak cara aku mengeliat. Mahu jatuh saham aku huhu.
Tiba tiba aku teringat kisah semalam. Airmata terus berlinang. Terasa amat sayu dan sedih. Salah ke kalau aku nak pakai tudung? Naper abah tak benarkan? Buat pengetahuan korang, bapak aku ni jenis orang yang sibuk giler. Businessman yang sentiasa sibuk. Mak aku dah takder. Meninggal dunia lama dah. Sedih sangat sangat.
Dari jendela, kelihatan cahaya matahari mula menjeluskan diri ke celah celah langsir tingkap. Jam dah 11:00 pagi. Perut lapar.
Aku bangun capai tuala, masuk bilek mandi.
Lepas mandi, aku belek belek tubuhku pada cermin. Alangkah lebih cantik kalau aku bertudung. Aku nekad! Aku akan protes habis habisan kalau bapa aku tak nak juga bagi pakai tudung. Aku sanggup lari dari rumah. Demi kebaikan yang aku pilih. Lantak la dengan ahli keluarga aku yang lain lain. Semuanya tak nak pakai tudung! Tapi aku nak!!!!
Aku turun ke bawah. Baru jea nak buka tudung saji atas meja, terdengar bunyi kereta masuk garaj. Aku jenguk melalui tingkap dan nampak bapa aku balik. Aikkkk, apahal bapa balik awal ni???
Dalam masa yang sama, aku rasa inilah masa yang terbaik untuk desak bapa aku benarkan aku pakai tudung. Now or never!
Bila bapa aku buka jea pintu, aku bersalam dengannya dan tanpa lengahkan masa, aku kata, ""Daddy, cheq nak pakai tudung. Cheq nak!"
Bapak aku terus jegil sebesar besarnya. Macam ada api keluar! Panggggggggggggggggggg. Bapa aku hayun penampar ke muka aku! Tersepok aku di celah set sofa.
"Aduhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....sampai hati daddy! Cheq tau la daddy rasa malu kalau cheq pakai tudung. Salah ke kalau cheq nak tutup aurat cheq? Kalau adik dan abg tak nak...."
Pangggggggggggggggggggg....! Aku labuh pelempang ke muka aku sekali lagi sebelum aku abis bercakap.
"Hang jangan nak bagi aku malu naaaa! Hang jangan nak buat pasai! Hang nak pakai tudung buat apa??? Dah 100 kali aku habaq, LELAKI TAK PAYAH PAKAI TUDUNG, LELAKI TAK PAYAH PAKAI TUDUNG!!! Tu la, bila time kelas agama, hang ponteng! Nama hang aku boh "Razali", tup tup lekat jadi AZA sahaja! Memang la dalam rumah ni semuanya tak bertudung sebab adik hang tu lelaki! Abang hang pun lelaki jugak!".
Aku yang tersepuk celah sofa, terus menangis terkedu kedu. Dah la sakit kena tampar, kena pelempang. Tudung pun tak dapat jugak.
SALAH KAH AKU? SALAH KAH AKUUUUUUUU! OOOOO tidakkkkkkkkkkkkk!
(^___^)
Aku mengeliat sepuas puasnya. Nasib baik takder siapa nampak cara aku mengeliat. Mahu jatuh saham aku huhu.
Tiba tiba aku teringat kisah semalam. Airmata terus berlinang. Terasa amat sayu dan sedih. Salah ke kalau aku nak pakai tudung? Naper abah tak benarkan? Buat pengetahuan korang, bapak aku ni jenis orang yang sibuk giler. Businessman yang sentiasa sibuk. Mak aku dah takder. Meninggal dunia lama dah. Sedih sangat sangat.
Dari jendela, kelihatan cahaya matahari mula menjeluskan diri ke celah celah langsir tingkap. Jam dah 11:00 pagi. Perut lapar.
Aku bangun capai tuala, masuk bilek mandi.
Lepas mandi, aku belek belek tubuhku pada cermin. Alangkah lebih cantik kalau aku bertudung. Aku nekad! Aku akan protes habis habisan kalau bapa aku tak nak juga bagi pakai tudung. Aku sanggup lari dari rumah. Demi kebaikan yang aku pilih. Lantak la dengan ahli keluarga aku yang lain lain. Semuanya tak nak pakai tudung! Tapi aku nak!!!!
Aku turun ke bawah. Baru jea nak buka tudung saji atas meja, terdengar bunyi kereta masuk garaj. Aku jenguk melalui tingkap dan nampak bapa aku balik. Aikkkk, apahal bapa balik awal ni???
Dalam masa yang sama, aku rasa inilah masa yang terbaik untuk desak bapa aku benarkan aku pakai tudung. Now or never!
Bila bapa aku buka jea pintu, aku bersalam dengannya dan tanpa lengahkan masa, aku kata, ""Daddy, cheq nak pakai tudung. Cheq nak!"
Bapak aku terus jegil sebesar besarnya. Macam ada api keluar! Panggggggggggggggggggg. Bapa aku hayun penampar ke muka aku! Tersepok aku di celah set sofa.
"Aduhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....sampai hati daddy! Cheq tau la daddy rasa malu kalau cheq pakai tudung. Salah ke kalau cheq nak tutup aurat cheq? Kalau adik dan abg tak nak...."
Pangggggggggggggggggggg....! Aku labuh pelempang ke muka aku sekali lagi sebelum aku abis bercakap.
"Hang jangan nak bagi aku malu naaaa! Hang jangan nak buat pasai! Hang nak pakai tudung buat apa??? Dah 100 kali aku habaq, LELAKI TAK PAYAH PAKAI TUDUNG, LELAKI TAK PAYAH PAKAI TUDUNG!!! Tu la, bila time kelas agama, hang ponteng! Nama hang aku boh "Razali", tup tup lekat jadi AZA sahaja! Memang la dalam rumah ni semuanya tak bertudung sebab adik hang tu lelaki! Abang hang pun lelaki jugak!".
Aku yang tersepuk celah sofa, terus menangis terkedu kedu. Dah la sakit kena tampar, kena pelempang. Tudung pun tak dapat jugak.
SALAH KAH AKU? SALAH KAH AKUUUUUUUU! OOOOO tidakkkkkkkkkkkkk!
(^___^)
Mar 18, 2010
Let's twist your tongue!!!
By Nash
Posted at 9:08 PM
Jokes
No comments
Dulu masa sekolah, selalu jumpa ngan tongue twister nih, memang terbelit lidah la, tapi Alhamdulillah aku masih boleh lagi bertutur dan makan seperti biasa..haha, so aku saja nak post dalam blog aku untuk di kongsi bersama² antara tounge² twister yang best!! korang tryla twist...jangan sampai terus pelat sudah...hehe
Terrific Tongue Twisters to Twist Your Tongue
1. If you understand, say "understand" . If you don't understand, say "don't understand". But if you understand and say "don't understand". How do I understand that you understand? Understand!
2. I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.
3. Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.
4. A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could see was sea, sea, sea.
6. If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?
7. I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.
8. Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a fellow means?"
9. Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and called to MrOutside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside and Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told Mr Outside to come outside. MrOutside and Mr Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went outside to the riverside.
10. SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE , BUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT SHE SELLS, ON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES
11. The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.
12. If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors? "When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor's the doctor. Does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor's way"
13. We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather be fine, Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Or whether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather Whatever the weather, Whether we like it or not. Watch? Whether the weather is hot. Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It is whether we like it or not.
14. Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.
15. A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly "Oh what should we do" Said the flea" Let us fly Said the fly"Let us flee" So they flew through a flaw in the flue
16. If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twisted as tongue-twister twists tongues.
17. Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seen See's saw Before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would not have sawed Soar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.But it was sad to see Soar so sore Just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.
*Gambar sekadar hiasan
Terrific Tongue Twisters to Twist Your Tongue
1. If you understand, say "understand" . If you don't understand, say "don't understand". But if you understand and say "don't understand". How do I understand that you understand? Understand!
2. I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.
3. Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.
4. A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could see was sea, sea, sea.
6. If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?
7. I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.
8. Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a fellow means?"
9. Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and called to MrOutside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside and Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told Mr Outside to come outside. MrOutside and Mr Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went outside to the riverside.
10. SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE , BUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT SHE SELLS, ON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES
11. The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.
12. If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors? "When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor's the doctor. Does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor's way"
13. We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather be fine, Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Or whether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather Whatever the weather, Whether we like it or not. Watch? Whether the weather is hot. Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It is whether we like it or not.
14. Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.
15. A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly "Oh what should we do" Said the flea" Let us fly Said the fly"Let us flee" So they flew through a flaw in the flue
16. If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twisted as tongue-twister twists tongues.
17. Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seen See's saw Before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would not have sawed Soar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.But it was sad to see Soar so sore Just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.
Feb 28, 2010
Boss and his Secretary... FUNNY!
By Nash
Posted at 11:55 AM
Jokes
2 comments
Just for a laugh...
Boss and his Secretary
Boss walked into the office one morning not knowing that his zipper was down. His secretary walked up to him and asked, "Boss this morning when you left your house, did you close your gate?"
Boss was not smart enough to understand, so he went back into his office looking a bit puzzled! When he was about done with his paper work, he suddenly noticed that his Zipper was not zipped up..
He zipped up and remembering what his secretary had told him, then boss finally understood.... He then intentionally went out to ask for a cup of coffee from his secretary. When he reached her desk, He said, "When you saw the gate open did you see my BMW parked in there?"
The secretary smiled for a moment and said, "No, Boss I didn't. All I saw was a Kancil 600 with 2 flat tyre."
Boss went back to his office murmering...
hahaha...(^__^)
Boss and his Secretary
Boss walked into the office one morning not knowing that his zipper was down. His secretary walked up to him and asked, "Boss this morning when you left your house, did you close your gate?"
Boss was not smart enough to understand, so he went back into his office looking a bit puzzled! When he was about done with his paper work, he suddenly noticed that his Zipper was not zipped up..
He zipped up and remembering what his secretary had told him, then boss finally understood.... He then intentionally went out to ask for a cup of coffee from his secretary. When he reached her desk, He said, "When you saw the gate open did you see my BMW parked in there?"
The secretary smiled for a moment and said, "No, Boss I didn't. All I saw was a Kancil 600 with 2 flat tyre."
Boss went back to his office murmering...
hahaha...(^__^)
- Nash
- Hmm...I not really expert in describing about myself, why don't u tell me...(^__^)
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